Jul 31, 2016

The Book Bitch

Lisa got down from the bus and waited for the porter to get her suitcase out of the belly of the bus.

She imagined the bus as some ancient leviathan, ferrying passengers from unknown places to where they were actually meant to be, swallowing them up and regurgitating them at their destinations.

She was still lost in her thoughts when she noticed the porter was looking at her.

He was also saying something.

She switched her mental frequencies back to Planet Earth and heard the words, "...is this your bag?"

It was and it wasn't.

It was the only bag left there and it looked remarkably similar to her own bag. But there were certain things that were missing. Her "Book Bitch" badge that was supposed to be on the side of the bag and another label that simply said "Prose Before Hoes". They were missing, ergo, this bag was not hers.

But it was the only bag left and she was the only passenger left, so it had to be hers.

She was still confused at what to say when the porter placed the bag near her. "Look, miss, I can't wait here forever. We need to get the bus cleaned up for the return journey."

"Buh-but, I don't think that th-this is my bag!" Lisa said.

"Well, I don't really care," the porter scratched his nose, "it is totally your problem now."

Anger, like a flash flood, roared through her ears and she slammed the first thing she had in her on the porter's face. It was a hardcover of "Of Human Bondage".

"Ow," the porter yelled, "bitch! Why'd you do that for!"

"You lost my fucking bag, you numbskull dimwitted dumb motherfucker. I only have this book with me and some stranger's bag. How else the fuck do you suppose I will feel. I'd shove this book up your ass but I am not done reading this."

"Jesus, woman. Look into the bag if it's not yours. Maybe someone has your bag and they have their contact information somewhere in there."

"I was going to do that only," she lied, "once you got the fuck out of my face."

The porter's nose was bleeding badly by now and he looked like a cartoon vampire with blood streaming down his chin. He held on to his nose with one hand and shot her the finger with the other hand.

"Good luck," he mumbled, "bitch."

Lisa raised the hardcover to hit him again, but he was already scuttling off like a beaten puppy. She picked up the bag and took it to the bus shelter next to the bus stop.

Deep breathes, she told herself. Deeeeep breaths.

Once she had calmed down enough, she opened the bag. It was a simple bag with a zipper on top that opened up to reveal different compartments in the bag. She knew because her bag was the same and she had kept some of her best books in the bag. The other books were going to reach her university residences through a book porting company.

But this bag, it was full of knives. All gleaming clean and sharp with the promise of bloodshed. There were all kinds of knives in the bag. From tiny scalpels to a large butcher's knife. There was a swiss knife neatly tucked into a pouch meant for keeping pens and there was a bowie knife placed at the bottom of the bag. There were knives she had never seen and some knives that didn't even look remotely like a knife. Some knives were only blades and the others were only ornate, complex and futuristic looking handles.

There was an ID card in the bag. She picked it up and looked at the man in the picture.

"Fuck me," she sighed.

"Son, would you be a darling and peel this apple for me?"

Their car was stuck in traffic and they had not moved an inch in the last one hour. Mr. Kosmos took the apple from her mother and opened the zipper of his bag that was lying under his seat. He took out the first thing that his hand chanced upon. It was not a knife, it was a book.

"Fuck me!" he yelled out of sheer shock of WTF.

Mr. Kibbles woke up in his mother's lap and hissed at him.

So, we got the train rolling once again. Two in two days! This is going along nicely, no? There might be some discrepancies here and there, but I'll apply my Author's License there.

Any feedback, comments, criticisms? Leave me a comment!

Thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. so good to be reading your stories again Pallav !!