Sep 15, 2015

What happened to this blog? What happened to me?

I shit you not, there was time I'd have picked fights with people over the shit I write on this blog. I was so so fucking passionate about every story I wrote because mostly I was young and stupid and damn it, I believed in what I was writing.

I was 110% committed to what I was doing and I'd have fought the fucking world if it meant getting the daily update to the blog. I changed my work schedule so I could write more stories, I wrote in bulk, I wrote faster, I gave zero fucks about so many things that I should have been giving a fuck about. Hindsight is a bitch.

It's all fucked up now. It feels like seeing a beautiful flower growing through blocks of concrete and then a mangy dog shits all over it.

My head has not been in the game for a long time. I got distracted by the hate for this fucking city that circumstances have landed me into, and it's frustrating here because I see no way out. And I can't help but hate it and get flashbacks of what once was all the time. Maybe my head wants to go back and keeps reminding me of every single little thing that made that city my own, but this city is like a thorn stuck in my foot. And I can't take it out because I am too busy walking. So it digs in deeper and deeper till the blood marks my footprints and the wound becomes a sore. But I can't stop walking, so I walk with this fucked up pain in me and there is no escape from it.

So be fucking it.