Zakhwaaz stared into the pit, a tinkle of moonlight played on the bones of the fallen in the pit. He sighed and stared at the chief.
"Baagh baak Baa brsts braa bet [#] ?" [# Are you sure the Great Book says I have to go in there?] he asked
[*For reader ease, the further story shall be translated from the language of the BaakBaaks in readable English]
The chief grinned a yellow toothed smile which said that there was no other way for Zakhwaaz than to go in the pit. "Fuck It" said Zakhwaaz and reached for his leather bag on the lip of the pit. The tribe of BaakBaaks had gathered at the foot of the mountain to see the holy spectacle, the old women carried the young ones while the nubile women of the tribe dressed up in their best in case Zaakwaaz managed to get out alive. Few of the girls were dressed optimistically rest of them just came for the bloodbath. They all cheered in a wave of fake delight as Zaakwaaz turned to face them all from the top of the pit. He held a long heavy blade in one hand and a club made of stone in the other. He raised them both above his head in shape of a cross and yelled, "Fuck you all! Fuck you for coming here to watch this stupid entertainment, Fuck you for taking part in this archaic ritual, Fuck you for being assholes of the worst kinds that I might rule in the future shall I come out alive tonight."
The crowd erupted in a bout of merriment, few drunken men attempted a Mexican wave but fell all over themselves in the failed effort. The chief poked Zaakwaaz in the small of his back, he grinned his grin again and a wave of bad breath assaulted his face. He raised a finger to the chief and jumped in the pit.
-=-=-=-
Good Enough for today, next and last part tomorrow.
;)
Jan 7, 2008
Jan 4, 2008
The Hook Of Love
A teardrop of blood dropped from the severed head. A thin wire of blood trailed it, like a baby with an umbilical cord not wanting to be razored off and brought into the cruel world. The hook from which it dropped looked down and smiled a hooked smile.
He was happy. The reason for hook's happiness was the head of a pretty girl that hung on it today. With the almost zen expression on her face, a little bit spoiled by the other end of hook sticking out of the top of her skull, she looked animated, well, almost.
The stale wind that blew in the meat-house fanned a strand from hair of the head and it wrapped itself on the cold steel of the hook. The hook shivered and sighed like a boy on his first date with a girl in a dark theater. The anticipation of things to come sent a shivers of delight up and down his spine like electric yoyos. His molecules spun faster and faster in their orbits as the protons collected their charges together to give the hook some more positive vibes and courage.
He wanted to be as positive about the whole scenario as he could. Whatever guts that had hung on the hook for the past few months, hook tried to remember them all and looked at the pretty blue eyes of the girl, one eye in fact, an empty hole stared back at hook where the other eye was supposed to be.
Finally, he took a deep breath, looked in the single deep blue eye and said, "Hi there, nice weather no?"
The head never replied.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Now don't say I don't write love stories!
Carrying on the mood :)
Old timers, keep yer pieholes shut :D
He was happy. The reason for hook's happiness was the head of a pretty girl that hung on it today. With the almost zen expression on her face, a little bit spoiled by the other end of hook sticking out of the top of her skull, she looked animated, well, almost.
The stale wind that blew in the meat-house fanned a strand from hair of the head and it wrapped itself on the cold steel of the hook. The hook shivered and sighed like a boy on his first date with a girl in a dark theater. The anticipation of things to come sent a shivers of delight up and down his spine like electric yoyos. His molecules spun faster and faster in their orbits as the protons collected their charges together to give the hook some more positive vibes and courage.
He wanted to be as positive about the whole scenario as he could. Whatever guts that had hung on the hook for the past few months, hook tried to remember them all and looked at the pretty blue eyes of the girl, one eye in fact, an empty hole stared back at hook where the other eye was supposed to be.
Finally, he took a deep breath, looked in the single deep blue eye and said, "Hi there, nice weather no?"
The head never replied.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Now don't say I don't write love stories!
Carrying on the mood :)
Old timers, keep yer pieholes shut :D
Dec 31, 2007
Happy New Year:)
All right If I start taking names I will never get out of this place alive. So I'll take the easy way out and sum my feelings up real quick.
A very Happy 2008 to all readers and non readers. This has been a wonderful 2007 in your company and writing stories has never been so much fun with great people like you reading and giving feedback. Feedback is a writer's Vodka, or Mountain Dew, or [ insert furl of your choice].
I wish all the best for you and your families, your pets and your machines in this coming year. May all be healthy and the machines work fine. We need this in these technological times.
May your muse be good to you and provide you inspiration all year long.
Cheers to You!
May God bless you and fuck up your enemies.
N
P.S-- this blog was created in December 2005 and these two years have been most fun. Thanks! :)
A very Happy 2008 to all readers and non readers. This has been a wonderful 2007 in your company and writing stories has never been so much fun with great people like you reading and giving feedback. Feedback is a writer's Vodka, or Mountain Dew, or [ insert furl of your choice].
I wish all the best for you and your families, your pets and your machines in this coming year. May all be healthy and the machines work fine. We need this in these technological times.
May your muse be good to you and provide you inspiration all year long.
Cheers to You!
May God bless you and fuck up your enemies.
N
P.S-- this blog was created in December 2005 and these two years have been most fun. Thanks! :)
Dec 23, 2007
How to Fool God.
Nine people want to know how to fool God?
Tough titty.
You can't.
-=-=-=-=-=
Next week is going to be a hectic week in life of the typist of this blog. Will try and force him to type the updates for next installments of Equinox otherwise...next week :)
Oh and a very Merry Christmas To All You.
Keep rocking.
Tough titty.
You can't.
-=-=-=-=-=
Next week is going to be a hectic week in life of the typist of this blog. Will try and force him to type the updates for next installments of Equinox otherwise...next week :)
Oh and a very Merry Christmas To All You.
Keep rocking.
Dec 9, 2007
How To Commit Suicide
Failed in exams? Parents don't love you anymore? The one you love is fucking someone else? You hate yourself? People don't read you blog? People read your blog but don't leave comments? Your job sucks? Your boss is a Doof and your co-workers are back-stabbing motherfuckers? The whole world is out to get you?
Chill.We have just the thing you need, fates have guided you to the right blog post, because what you need is a Suicide!
Yes!
Kill Yourself! but [[[How?]]] you ask. The world is full of un-imaginative idiots who have made suicide look like something bad and idiotic, it’s time you took control of your life and the way it should end.It's time You took suicide to a higher level. No stupid cutting, jumping, ropes, guns or poisons involved, this is suicide like you have never heard before. This is what imagination does to you.
Let's not delay the inevitable and move on to the three top slow and steady FUBAR ways to cash in your chips, go west to meet the maker! [why slow and steady you ask? cuz that makes sure you win the race ;)]
1) Fall In Love--- Love, as they say, is the slowest form of suicide. Once in it, you ARE going to DIE. The road to Happily Never After is littered with evil intentions and broken hearts, you walk a mile in a three legged race of love and the road forks. Sweet. Either you succeed and have a "happy ending" [Ending is the keyword here] or you fail and die bit by bit inside. Very interesting and novel way to die, of course half the world is doing it without even realising it. That is what makes this fun.
2) Chase a Dream-- Dreams are nothing but remains of a bad night's sleep. If you go chasing dreams on mountains of hope, your dreams will turn around and bite you in the face. Then they will jump off the mountain and start flying, while your face will be headed on a super-fast Hello to Mr Ground of Reality. That can break a man or a woman, from inside and when you die there, no glue or doctor can join you back again. Chasing dreams is a risky method and a complex one, slow and simple, but sure.
3) Time Travel!- Now, just as you read time travel, 95% of you would get thinking on the Grandfather lines. Well, get original, grab a time machine from the nearby supermarket and zip back to tomorrow and meet yourself. BOOM the universe will explode, tearing apart the trousers of time and there! the most original suicide in the history of the world. Literally!
[and as a bonus method]
4) Read A Story A Day--- Congrats, you are already on your way to the pearly gates pits of hell. Word by word these sentences will crawl in your brain through your eyes and push your brain through your ears till there is no more space left in your head for anything but this fucked up blog. A slow, and a very painful death.
Yup that's all folks! But [there is always a but] I shall leave you with a poem by the great Dorothy Parker!
"Razors pain you, rivers are damp,
Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp,
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give,
Gas smells awful, you might as well live"
© Nothingman
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