Dec 31, 2007
Happy New Year:)
A very Happy 2008 to all readers and non readers. This has been a wonderful 2007 in your company and writing stories has never been so much fun with great people like you reading and giving feedback. Feedback is a writer's Vodka, or Mountain Dew, or [ insert furl of your choice].
I wish all the best for you and your families, your pets and your machines in this coming year. May all be healthy and the machines work fine. We need this in these technological times.
May your muse be good to you and provide you inspiration all year long.
Cheers to You!
May God bless you and fuck up your enemies.
N
P.S-- this blog was created in December 2005 and these two years have been most fun. Thanks! :)
Dec 23, 2007
How to Fool God.
Tough titty.
You can't.
-=-=-=-=-=
Next week is going to be a hectic week in life of the typist of this blog. Will try and force him to type the updates for next installments of Equinox otherwise...next week :)
Oh and a very Merry Christmas To All You.
Keep rocking.
Dec 9, 2007
How To Commit Suicide
Failed in exams? Parents don't love you anymore? The one you love is fucking someone else? You hate yourself? People don't read you blog? People read your blog but don't leave comments? Your job sucks? Your boss is a Doof and your co-workers are back-stabbing motherfuckers? The whole world is out to get you?
Chill.We have just the thing you need, fates have guided you to the right blog post, because what you need is a Suicide!
Yes!
Kill Yourself! but [[[How?]]] you ask. The world is full of un-imaginative idiots who have made suicide look like something bad and idiotic, it’s time you took control of your life and the way it should end.It's time You took suicide to a higher level. No stupid cutting, jumping, ropes, guns or poisons involved, this is suicide like you have never heard before. This is what imagination does to you.
Let's not delay the inevitable and move on to the three top slow and steady FUBAR ways to cash in your chips, go west to meet the maker! [why slow and steady you ask? cuz that makes sure you win the race ;)]
1) Fall In Love--- Love, as they say, is the slowest form of suicide. Once in it, you ARE going to DIE. The road to Happily Never After is littered with evil intentions and broken hearts, you walk a mile in a three legged race of love and the road forks. Sweet. Either you succeed and have a "happy ending" [Ending is the keyword here] or you fail and die bit by bit inside. Very interesting and novel way to die, of course half the world is doing it without even realising it. That is what makes this fun.
2) Chase a Dream-- Dreams are nothing but remains of a bad night's sleep. If you go chasing dreams on mountains of hope, your dreams will turn around and bite you in the face. Then they will jump off the mountain and start flying, while your face will be headed on a super-fast Hello to Mr Ground of Reality. That can break a man or a woman, from inside and when you die there, no glue or doctor can join you back again. Chasing dreams is a risky method and a complex one, slow and simple, but sure.
3) Time Travel!- Now, just as you read time travel, 95% of you would get thinking on the Grandfather lines. Well, get original, grab a time machine from the nearby supermarket and zip back to tomorrow and meet yourself. BOOM the universe will explode, tearing apart the trousers of time and there! the most original suicide in the history of the world. Literally!
[and as a bonus method]
4) Read A Story A Day--- Congrats, you are already on your way to the pearly gates pits of hell. Word by word these sentences will crawl in your brain through your eyes and push your brain through your ears till there is no more space left in your head for anything but this fucked up blog. A slow, and a very painful death.
Yup that's all folks! But [there is always a but] I shall leave you with a poem by the great Dorothy Parker!
"Razors pain you, rivers are damp,
Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp,
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give,
Gas smells awful, you might as well live"
© Nothingman
Nov 7, 2007
A Thousand Elephants - 2
"Any second now..." said a voice from the darkness.
As if on a cue Sector screamed, and screamed and screamed. Somewhere inside his head he stood in bright sunlight of an African jungle. Herds upon herds of wild African elephants stampeded upon him. He lay battered and broken in the bright torturous sunlight and started to count.
What seemed like an afternoon tea and biscuit party in Hell to Sector took only one minute and 23 seconds of his life in the club. Hands, tentacles and unmentionable things from the darkness helped him up.
"We hope you didn't take our little welcome, to heart." said a voice colder than the ice in the morgue in the back room of A Thousand Elephants. Sarcasm dripped from the words like ice cream melting from a cone in sahara. Amazingly the voice was convincing and the cockroach of fear in Sector's mind sniffed the air for any hint of a good time.
"You people always miss the heart." he smiled at the darkness and headed for the bar. The bar man slammed a glass full of a greenish black liquid in front of him. A small fin surfaced in the glass and dipped back under the surface. Sector picked the glass and drained it in one go.
Then he chewed.
Hard.
"Gud shtuff dis" he told the bartender, who grinned back, he had only one teeth and looking into the barman's grinning face was like staring into an endless void. The worse part was that it stared back at you.
Sector ordered another glass of Shark Vod, it stirred itself.
The night moved on, making love to humanity, as millions lived, died, stayed alive, and in a small bar called 'A Thousand Elephants' another man who entered started to count.
-=-=-=
I had fun writing this, I hope you had fun reading this. What did you think about this story? Do let me know ;)
Cheers;)
Nov 2, 2007
A Thousand Elephants
Sector Nine lit his last cigarette of the day and walked into the city slowly overflowing with the colors of night, all green, red, blue neon from every nook and corner, like a monstrosity with a thousand eyes slowly waking up and opening its eyes one at a time.
Sector was his name and Nine was his number, it was also the number of fingers he had, a sad encounter with a shark somewhere in the Arabian sea had taught him that you can't tell somethings to 'Fuck off'.
For the rest of the world, thought Sector, he still had one middle finger left.
He cursed under his breath at random people and thought about different ways to torture them to admit to sins they had not committed, it just lightened his mood and what was waiting for him needed him to be at his best and lightest mood. He cursed randomly at a passing girl who tripped and screamed as her ankle sprained and she fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes in pain.
Sector grinned his favourite grin and sucked hard on his cigarette. He reached the building he was looking for, the sign above the door said in a kaleidoscopic colors "A Thousand Elephants"
Sector pushed the heavy door and stepped into the chaos. Everyone inside was screaming at the top of their lungs, strange lights flickered at supersonic speeds in the apparent darkness and a hypothermic needle full of a black liquid plunged straight into Sector's heart.
-=-=-=
More Next time! Keep Reading!
Jul 20, 2007
Reading stories...
Enjoy!
Feb 16, 2007
Graffiti in Chandigarh
Chew on a few pictures we took todayYou can read English of course, as it says please don't write on the walls, someone wrote in Punjabi- "It's a thing of our own home, leave writing graffiti, bastards" Of course referring to the humongous amounts of graffiti in Rock Garden Chandigarh.
--------------------------
When art becomes the fart of the graffitist.
This is a serial graffiti found in many places in Chandigarh.
Hope you enjoyed!
Feb 10, 2007
"Fallout - Seven Feet Under"
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Well, ladies and gentlemen, thanks supremely for all the kind words. We sincerely hope you enjoyed reading the stories in "Fallout" as much as we did writing them. Click on the pictures, they are pretty big ;).
Lot of un-answered questions must be swirling in your head, so come back tomorrow for our first ever interview!
YAY! that sounds so rawkin!
God bless you all and thanks for the love.
P.S - any psychological insights based on our handwriting are welcome ;)
Feb 9, 2007
"Fallout - Six Seconds"
One hand snaked out of the black sheet, and rummaged around in a bag. After a second of rummaging around, the hand found what it was looking for and retreated with the bottle under the sheet.
"Liquid dinner huh?" Charlie asked the form under the blanket which replied with satisfied sounds of gulps.
She threw off the sheet and said, " At least I'm not drinking grease, metalhead."
"HEY!! I don't drink gr---"
BLIP BLIP BLIP BLIP
The sound on the radar, stopped Charlie mid-sentence. He stared at the green console showing two blips heading their way.
Fast.
"Uh, hey v,not that it matters but just asking, can you fly?"
The vampire was at Charlie's back in a second, "What are these dots?"
"They sure don't look like Santa Clause and his reindeers!" Charlie said "Of course they are bloody missiles and we have six seconds to bail!"
"Who fired them at us?"
5
"Who cares!!" he shouted," We gotta bail or we are toast!."
4
"Damm! ok, give me the parachute." she said.
3
"Uh, he he."
2
Charlie looked out of the window on his side at the one missile heading their way fast, then he saw the other object that made the second blip.
1
"Hey V!, guess what?, I just learnt to fly."
He grabbed her and jumped out of the open door as the missile hit the chopper above their heads and blew it to tiny tiny fragments.
--------------------
Sam walked till he was at the edge of the sea and then he stepped in it. He kept on walking till the water got over his head. Soon his lungs were full of water and yet he was breathing normally. He kept walking, onwards, to the great place. He could feel the others coming.
------------------------------------
For a few seconds they fell through the roaring noise of the wind and then with a jerk they both stopped, too far away from the ground to be dead. The vampire opened her closed eyes and looked at Charlie who was floating beside her. He pointed upwards with his thumb with a grin pasted on his face. The demon had them both in his firm grasp, his wings spread to their full length, gliding on air currents.
Charlie knew what was going to happen next, he motioned the vampire to cover her ears.
The vampire saw the serious expression,which he was maintaining with difficulty in his eyes and obliged. the next second she was glad she did.
Jason called out a name. His voice boomed like thunder and reverberated through her lungs like a million bass drums hitting home.
The demon Jason screamed again, just one word, "KIM."
The third time he screamed a large shadow appeared in the dusk and it seemed to be headed their way. Even faster than the missile, the vampire saw it coming their way and Charlie's happiness was leaping and jumping out of him on seeing that shadow.
Moon slowly rose in the cloudless sky and for a second the vampire could not believe her eyes.
The Dragon was beautiful.
Every molecule of that presence heading their way screamed power and soon the dragon was floating beside them.
"Hey Kim, hows it hanging?" Charlie asked her, "Kim, this is vampire, she has no name, vampire meet Kim, she is a, uhm...dragon." he tried at introductions and failed miserably.
Jason put them both on dragon's back and settled there himself too, crossing his legs.
The vampire was still too mystified to speak anything.
"This is much faster than the chopper, hang on tight ok." Charlie said.
The dragon changed course and started flying west.
"She is going the wrong way, we have to go to Sam, he is up North!" she managed to mutter.
"She always knows where Sam is." Charlie said, "Always."
"Oh yeah" said the vampire, " So where is she heading, where Sam is?"
"Bermuda triangle."
"and why there?" she asked him.
Charlie at once managed a serene expression on his face and said, "Salvation baby."
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We are almost at the end!! and somehow we don't want it to finish, but as the great GWAR once said, "Everything that has a start, the end is always the best part."
So the best is coming your way.
P.S this post was almost triple the usual length we
write, if you felt bored anywhere, the fault is just ours.
P.P.S The 4ooth comment has hit home and the [un] lucky winner of the password to A Story A Day is Mr. Oskar, who might not have updated his blog since Jan 23 but is surely alive and kicking ass. So, he gets my password for a day and lets just all hope that he greets us with a story or something equally interesting. Cuz the dude is good.
P.P.P.S - The fallout ends tomorrow...what after that you ask yourself....well.... :)
Feb 8, 2007
"Fallout - Five Bullets"
"DUDE!!" he screamed into the magaphone, "it would help if you flew a little far away."
The Demon flying beside the chopper looked at the little machine that whispered something. He at once changed his direction and soon he was flying eastwards , whereas the chopper continued its way north.
"Where is he going now?" the vampire asked Charlie, her voice dripping with irritation.
Charlie looked eastwards, where a small curve of the rising sun crept upwards from the middle of the ruined landscape. The Demon looked like he was flying into the rising sun.
He tossed a pair of Ray-Bans to the vampire.
"Where is he going?" she asked as she put on the goggles.
"Honey," Charlie said with a hint of fear in his mechanical eyes, "believe me, you don't wanna know."
-----------------------
Thoughts, thoughts, and thoughts.
A vortex of thoughts spun inside the demon's head and then some bass tabletures joined in the fray and his mind slowly worked itself into a calm state.
He continued flying eastwards, into the face of the sun, when he saw the first signs of a destroyed city began to appear. The cars left on the highways, the building sans the glass windows, broken children of the shock waves left by the missile.
He flew deep inside the city and found the building he was looking for, away from the circumference of the blast. The building lay in ruins, all its windows shattered inwards. He landed on the first floor and crunched an empty CD case marked with Fifth Symphony under his foot.
A woman's body lay on the lay on the chair, riddled with broken glass pieces, her head back, arms open, a hole through her heart. The blood on her dress faded away to a muddy purple. Her skin rotting away due to the radiation. The demon looked at her for a second and two, he bowed his head and headed inside the apartment. He calmly stepped through the door inside the apartment not caring to open it.
The man, still alive, sat on the chair. His gun had fallen to the floor few hours ago through his rotting fingers. A small wheezing noise showed that he was still breathing, his heart quickened a pace on seeing the monstrous form that walked through the door.
The demon picked up the gun, his finger barely fitting through the trigger guard. He shot the remaining five bullets into the man. The knees first, then the lungs and the last bullet in his stomach.
He bent close to his head and whispered into his ear, "Die in pain." The man's ear drum ruptured and blood started to drip from his ear.
The demon left the room, he looked once more at the figure of the dead woman.
"Rest in peace, my friend."
He flew off to chase the chopper.
Greater things awaited him.
------------------------------------------------
I feel that Fifth Symphony was not the strongest of EOTW stories, but it left the readers at a very interesting juncture and as RockDog said 'what if the guy had shot the girl.'
Well, buddy, Lo and behold!
I'll be very frank with you people, I didn't know how to write today's part. Even when I started I didn't know how I'll end it, then when I saw the older story while linking it in today's post, I saw Rock's comment and something sparked in my head. So Thanks to him, today's story got finished.
Tomorrow....The chopper crashes.
Feb 7, 2007
"Fallout - Four Strings"
"Where are we going?" She asked him.
"Where ever the wind takes us sweetheart." he replied
The circuits in his head shackled once more as her blow swung home.
"We are going north, that's where Sam was seen last." he said, paused and spoke again "Uh, but we have to make a little detour."
"We have to pick someone."
"Yeah, it is." Charlie replied happily "I mean of all the people, we get to pick Jason, I mean, fuck, I can't believe my luck!"
"Charlie," she spoke with a menacing growl, "make it quick."
"Will you let go of the angry mood once in a while and show some love?"
"No."
She noticed the book lying in Charlie's lap, it moved up and then down and repeated the same.
"What the fuck is that?" she sneered.
"Exercise."
---------
In the tower high above the skies, the Demon continued his practise.
His fingers slid effortlessly over the monstrous apparatus with the ease of a knife slicing through butter. The wall of speakers almost bursting out under the force of the melodies he was ripping up one after another. His fingers missed a fret and he screamed in frustration as the whole melody fell down like a house of cards.
He put the instrument down and stopped the timer at 23:59:11 .
"Fuck." he grumbled.
He looked out of the window of his tower to see Charlie's chopper hanging in mid air. Charlie's mystified grin pasted on the chopper's glass screen, fingers of his both hands raised in devil horns.
"DUDE!!!" the megaphone blasted Charlie's excited voice "We gotta get Sam."
The Demon nodded at the big machine.
"What are you waiting for then?" he said " Jump in!, we are going north."
"I'll fly." the demon Jason's volcanic voice shook the chopper for a second and Charlie had to struggle with the stick to gain back control.
"Cool, " the megaphone said ,"follow us."
The demon picked up his bass guitar and headed for the window.
------------------------------------
Ah, four down.
Three more to go!! yippers!!
So, we got a horny android guitarist, a pissed off vampire, and a demon with a bass guitar and who has wings and who can FLY!...How cool is that?
I'm fighting hard the impulse of crashing the chopper and killing them all, believe me its hard.
and
where the fuck is Sam?
Hope you had fun reading!
Feb 6, 2007
"Fallout - Three Songs"
No one asked her that and those who did didn't live to know it.
Right now, she stood in the almost dead city, listening carefully for the big sound coming closer and closer. She knew it from somewhere but just couldn't put her finger on what it was.
The Chopper rose from behind the building to the right of her, its one search-light sweeping the deserted streets like the eye of a one-eyed eagle. The mega-phone blasting out Frank Sinatra's strangers in the night to no one in particular.
The search-light found her and fixed itself on her. The song stopped playing and a mechanical voice cleared its throat in the mega-phone.
"Hey baby, you alone?" the big machine spoke "Need a ride?"
She stared at the big machine and cursed under her breath, she knew the owner of the voice.
End of the world, and the first person you meet is him.
"Fucking shit." she whispered.
"Oi baby!! Did you say something to daddy?" the chopper spoke, "Let daddy put this birdy down and have a talk with you."
The missile whooshed past her shoulder and smashed into the car behind her, blowing it up in a ball of flames.
"Uh, sorry, wrong button."
She flipped the finger to the chopper.
The megaphone crackled with static and Enter Sandman started to play on it.
Slowly the big machine landed on the deserted street.
Before the pilot could step out on the road, she had her hands on his metal neck.
"Enough of your smart-ass bullshit metalman, I need to find Sam and if you don't help me, your circuits won't survive see another 24 hours." She snarled into his ear.
"I love you too, baby." Charlie grinned at her.
"Climb in." he told her "Lets find that idiot."
"You charged fully?" she asked.
"Oh yeah baby....I'm fully charged." he winked at her
She slapped him hard in the back of his head, her fingers hurt on striking the metal.
"Fly this bird, robot, we need to find him."
As the chopper rose in the air Charlie switched the track to Bat Out of Hell.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey thanks for reading this far...say something, show that you care.
Yes its getting longer, but we are going somewhere interesting, I assure you.
Charlie the Android joins us in this part. He flies the chopper and plays guitar in the 2 member dead band "Three Kings". He likes to play his favourite songs in a deserted post-apolyptic world through the megaphone of his chopper.
Tomorrow, the search for Sam continues and we find a bonus something.
Something scary.
;)
Feb 5, 2007
"Fallout - Two for Trouble"
That is, if, there were any rats in the bunker.
Her head is clear in a second and the primitive urge of hunger makes her insides squirm. The boy lies inert on the chair in front of her, his head resting in cradle his arms on the table. She ignores him and heads for the refrigerator and takes out one bottle of human blood. Just one more remains.
Soon, the pangs of hunger stop troubling her.
"Jesus." she swears, "It feels good."
She heads for the table and picks up the gun and rolls open the chamber. Then she replaces the fake bullet with a real, live one from the pocket of her jeans.
She shoots the boy in his head at point blank range, his brain plastering the wall behind him.
She calmly rolls off his dead body off the chair onto the floor and takes the key of the bunker from his pocket. She shoulders the bug-out-bag from the cupboard and puts the second bottle of blood in it. The door with the lock and an alphanumeric keypad don't stop her as she punches in her own birth date and turns the key.
Outside the world is a picture of utter calm and peace.
No stars shine in the night sky but everything is a dull gray. A shroud of darkness fallen upon the remains of whatever civilization is left. Her eyes get accustomed to the darkness from centuries of living in it.
She knows she has a long way to go and she also has to find Sam.
The cars deserted in the roads are welcoming and half her mind is made up to "take" one when the steady thrum far away distracts her.
Something huge.
Something moving.
Something fast.
The vampire smells trouble.
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If you've read this far, Thanks!
So, we have an immortal and a vampire in the story so far.
Tomorrow, we rock the town ;)
Feb 4, 2007
"Fallout - One Alone"
Sam sat near the edge of the crater the missile had created.
His clothes smoldered to bare threads.
The hair on his body, burnt to ashes.
The white wires of his iPod earplugs stuck to his skin like two grotesque veins extending from a frankestinean corpse. He scratched his now bald head where a few minutes ago his hair used to be. The radiation was starting to tingle. He scratched himself a bit more.
He looked inside the crater where the vapors of his black coffee were acquainting themselves with the radiation.
"I hate laser guided nuclear missiles." he said in disgust.
He wanted to get up and make a move but he knew it would be a while before his energy returned. The others had to be contacted. He knew they were out there somewhere.
He sat for a few moments by the edge of the Crater, naked, poisoned with radiation, without music and without his black coffee.
Life, was just great.
So much for being an immortal.
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Did the world really end?
We don't think so!
More madness coming your way.
For the past check out the links to previous seven stories in the sidebar.
and
Relax, we got it all under control ;)
Feb 2, 2007
Whats been going on.....
This is taking some time and effort, more than usual and also because life just got a bit more hectic, I have been dabbling in many things at once, but there are not many things dear to me than writing stories....
So.....
Be prepared for the nuclear bomb to your brain cells.
Bon Appetite :)
N
Jan 29, 2007
"Five More Minutes"
Five minutes passed.
"Please, a little while more...." she whisperd.
Five minutes passed.
"I'm not leaving now, its so warm and cozy." she cooed.
Five minutes passed.
"Please, please, pretty please..." she pulled the sheets up to her neck.
Five minutes passed.
Suddenly the door to her room was thrown open. Her mom stood in the doorway. Anger boiling out of her ears.
"Oh fuck" she thought.
Her mother walked up to her bed and screamed "STOP TALKING TO THE ALARM CLOCK YOU STUPID GIRL, GET UUUUUPPPPPPPP YOU ARE GETTING LATE FOR SCHOOL AGAIN!!!."
"Mom!!" she gave her best sleepy eyed expression "Five more minutes."
------------------------------------------
All perverts who thought otherwise, please do honour me with a word or two.
Thank you very much.
Jan 10, 2007
"It Sucks"
"Indeed, but it sure does look out of shape, not exactly a ball, is it?" number two replied.
"I like the way it spins"
"I like the way it revolves in this big circle"
"But its strength is its weakness"
"Oh yeah? and what would that be?"
"It sucks"
"I guess that is why there are so many people stuck on it"
Both number one and number two laugh their hearts out looking at the little blue planet from outer space.
-------------------------------
Old joke, but stay on earth does include a free trip around the sun ;)
The title is a comment on the lives of MMC - 2. (You know who you are)
SUE ME!
Jan 7, 2007
Type o Negative - Dead Again
01. Dead Again
02. Tripping a Blind Man
03. The Profits of Doom
04. September Sun
05. Halloween in Heaven
06. These Three Things
07. She Burned Me Down
08. Some Stupid Tomorrow
09. An Ode to Locksmiths
10. Hail and Farewell to Britain
Total Running Time: 77:35 minutes
Release Dates:
March 13 - USA/Canada
March 16 - Germany
March 19 - Europe
-----------------------
It is amazing how these guys make magical music with every album. The mad monk himself on the cover! and the album's gonna come out when I need it the most.
.....
.....
Amazing....
Jan 3, 2007
WE ARE KCAB!!!
I wish you all good health and good wealth and a good mind to use both wisely!
And my deepest apologies for not updating the blog for so many days, stuck as i was in a computer less space the only way of checking my mail was through my phone (God bless this beautiful machine!) and I am touched by all the wishes from You, You and yes, You (who never leaves a comment). Thanks everyone.
Now that a new year is here, we are going to write as usual and there are going to be some surprises ;) ;) in store for this year.
Let us hope we all can live up to what we believe in!
God bless.
N