Apr 8, 2013

This has been pending

I've serious doubts that anyone is still reading this blog. Maybe people are, maybe they're not. I won't push the link to this post on twitter or facebook or any other place. Let's take it back the basics. Whoever gets here by natural means, gets to read this. 

Fair? I don't know. And I don't care.

Now, let's not mint words here, I am telling this to me, as much as I am telling this to the invisible reader, the blog has been as good as dead. There were some flickers of life, but activity has been slow and very low, overall.

Why? Because I have something called a real life and crippling addiction to getting attention. And the blog doesn't scale up to the attention model like it used to in the earlier times. This is 2006-2007 years, when getting every comment on the blog was a small high, a rush, and back when I was a student, extremely stupid, and much less jaded. The only difference in 2013 is that I am not longer a student. 

There I go trying to sound smart. Hah. 

The deal here is that the day-job has become a weird kind of stone around my neck. I can get out, but the cost of getting out is tough. I am not able to figure out how to make everything come together and work in sync. Too many factors at play, but then that's real life for you. If I leave the job, my whole lifestyle gets disturbed to a major degree. 

But Pallav, you ask, what the fuck does that have to do with writing stories on the blog?

To which, I'd reply, every fucking thing.

Blogging takes some amount of planning in advance and some amount of mental energy and time. And when you come back home after dealing with bad text all day, the last thing you want to do is deal with more text, to polish it, to make it look good, to put out something that makes more sense than this blog post. 

So, yeah, that's a problem, but now that I've come clean with it (kinda) I'll try to fix it. 

Because what else is there to do? You identify problems and you solve them. 

You slog on in the face of life and spit in its eye, because giving up is not allowed for people like us. 

We bounce back, harder. 

I don't know what I am going to do with this blog next, and that shit excites and terrifies me at the same time. 

So it goes.