Oct 26, 2008


The mermaids were swimming all around me. Laughing, cajoling and performing complex maneuvers in the pristine blue green waters of the lagoon. I watched their perfect half figured with a child-like fascination. The smooth curves of the breasts where the tiny nipples stood out like miniature mountains. Their hair halo-ed around their heads and their laughter ringing in my ears.

One mermaid brushed awfully close to me and licked my ear with her soft, wet tongue. 

"Ring, Ring, Ring" she sang in my ear.

I smiled at her.

She held my face in her hands and kissed me with a seaweed filled mouth, singing "Ring, Ring, Ring." all the while.

I puked in the water, turning it a shade of bad brown, filled with pizza toppings and pieces of chicken souls.

I opened my eyes for a second time and found my face sticking to the floor by the tenacity of my own (I hoped) drying vomit. And somewhere a phone was ringing.


I rummaged through the pockets of my jeans and brought out my old and trusted cellphone that had stood by me though soberness and drunken orgies.

It was The Boss on the other end.

I pressed answer and Boss said a name. And a price. Which was a lot. Enough to make my drunken body get up, get the bullets for the gun and go out and get a cab for the target's office. I would have taken my own car, but you know, drinking and driving do not mix and I was drunk as hell making my way to an earthquake of a hangover.

I handed the taxi driver a fistful of notes and left him to figure out the maths as I made my way for the doors of the target's office. The revolving doors of the lawyer's office blurred like the wings of a honeybee, and for a moment I was frozen on the door like puppy transfixed by something shiny. 

Then, something snapped inside me and I rushed through the doors. The whole world tiled at crazy angles and I wanted to be with the mermaids again. I told the receptionist that I had a meeting with her boss and she told me to wait for a few minutes. I stood there like a defiant jerk, checking her out. Thinking of her, in a tight leather suit, and long leather shoes. She looked hot in my imagination and then she said something. I leaned closer on her desk and she pointed one manicured finger in a direction left of her. I saluted her a mock saluted and walked in the direction of where she had pointed.

The realization hit me in the face like a wet towel as to why no job is worth doing when you are drunk as hell and have a deadline to clear.

There were six of the target sitting in the chairs and each one of them was buzzing around the edges that made if tough to focus on any single figure.

"Yes! How can I help you?" all six of them blurted out at once.

"By dying." I said and then I shot all six of them.

A mermaid floated by from the window and start swimming around me.


Ha Ha Ha. I loved this one. The story was built around the one sentence "I shot all six of them". These six words have been troubling me for the past three weeks, screaming, shouting, cursing my attention and wanting to be written. The mermaid reference is taken from Snatch movie, where Pitt falls through the boxing ring floor and into water where mermaids swim around him.

In othe places, Poetry blog is getting lot of drinking related poems. If you love drinking, or do not, please head over to The Poem Blog for some kick ass psychedelic poems.

And we are ranting like never before at The Fucked Up blog which is not meant for kiddies under 18 and also not for lazy buggers who read this blog at work.

And, we are having another 7 day story run somewhere in November. Go me~!


  1. woah man, this was too trippy...the first paragraph totally killed...

    Loved it..

    Fuckin A!~

  2. eek. reminded me of everytime i've been on drinking binges and thrown up...and then fooled around.
    Naaais one though! Especially the bit with the receptionist in the leather suit in the imagination.


  3. I somehow thought it'll be like those erotic stories that you get for free [:P] but well, gore at the end - it just totally defines you! :D

    PS: I read your blog at work :| which makes me a lazy bugger??? not nice..!! But I read the Fucked Up blog at work too :D

  4. Anon...

    i thought the killing was in the last paragraph ;)


  5. Jadis...

    I have puked my share of shit, but well, never had such an experience of waking up in my own puke, nor do i want one :)

    I'll have to re-read what i wrote about the receptionist, was too high while writing this :P he he he


  6. QB...

    I have always wanted to write erotic stories :) maybe I will someday soon ;)

    Oh well, more than gore, I think the mermaid at the end was a nice touch, no?



  7. ahaan! floating mermaid...I remembered the cat pee episode from south park :P

  8. @N
    that explains the minute typos.

  9. @QB...you are smart, very smart...guess working at google does that to you ;)

    @Jadis...the spelling mistakes are there just to see if people read properly ;) you are an obsarvant reader!



  10. NM - after a point, all work equals crap, whether you're in Google or in NASA...doesn't really matter much!

    Sigh..am getting all philosophical.

  11. I'd like to get seriously drunk someday. Hmmm. :/

  12. :)I could frikkin visualise this as I read...awesome stuff mate!

  13. Dude sometimes I think that your stories are real and you write em so people think itd ur imagination. Fucking good but my mom thinks your crazy. I think you just got into deeper shit...

  14. Sak...
    :D :D

    I guess that's true, unless you are working for yourself! :)

    Great, when are we meeting then? ;)

    hey, I write what I see ;)

    Your mum knows? Does she know I am capable of great degree of violence to kids who tell their moms of my blog? There goes any chance of home cooked lunch! DUH man!