Is this insomnia?

There is a brilliant Megadeth song called Insomnia. While Dave was writing that song, he visited medical classes to learn more about the disorder and there he learned that insomnia is not the inability to fall asleep, but the inability to stay asleep. A person with insomnia might wake up up to ten times a night. 

Or something like that. You can look it up, the story is out there on the Internet. 

In Fight Club, our humble narrator also suffers from insomnia and spends his nights ordering shit he doesn't need from late night television shopping networks. Palahniuk does a really great job of describing the physical as well as mental condition of someone who is suffering from insomnia. There is a certain beauty to it. 

I should've been asleep now but I'm writing this on my phone. I just realized that the text on this app doesn't scroll as you type under the keyboard. Feature bug? I don't care. 

I'm still in delhi and I am slowly accepting the fact that I might have to be here for the coming considerable time. I don't have to like it, though. But I guess if I hate this city a bit less, it can be helpful. 

It's funny that no matter how old you grow and however much experience you have in dealing with shit, there is always new shit that you can learn. 

Anyway, I hope that I am not an insomniac. Sounds cool, but sucks to be one. 

Does your name suck?

I tweeted something about names yesterday. How our primary name that is on all documents and that is almost everything that we associate ourselves with. It's a pretty fucking important sequence of words and sounds. Right, it is 'almost' the only thing constant and consistent from the moment we're named to the moment we take our last breath.

So, your name, is pretty fucking important. Now consider this: you had no fucking say in choosing your name. What if your parents secretly hated you and gave you a shitty name? What if they were not as creative as you are, and they gave you a run of the mill name? What if the pandit who chose the first letter of your name from some ancient book was fucked out of hit wits on some drugs?

All I am saying here that it is pretty much possible that you got a raw deal when it comes to the most important word in your life; your name.

This is the reason why many people go for a name change later in life, because they know and understand that they got a rough deal here. Now, going for a name change comes with its share of problems. All the documents address you with your old name and people know you with your old name. I mean, one day you're a Neha or a Gaurav and the next day you tell people that your name is Azifucktooth or Bhambarbhoosa. That just doesn't scan, right?

I think we should be allowed different names for different games. For school, maybe kids can have some shitty studious name, but for their college years, something cool and awesome and for their office years when they've to be all responsible and shit, they should have some responsible name. Right? I don't know.

What do you think? You wanna change you name? huh? Really? What would your cool name be?

Game of Emotions, Two iPhones and Moaning on Twitter.

There is no power in the house right now because some electricity department dudes are messing with the wires in the street and power would probably be out for another hour or so. After messing around for the previous hour, I wanted to do something that looked or felt like work, so I finally got the table out, got a chair and here I am writing this. I'll post this once the power comes back and the Wi-Fi is back on.

I've been bitching and moaning on twitter about n number of things. Because it's kinda fun to do so and you also find out that there are other bastards who have it worse than you. For every person posting a picture of their latest phone, there are two who are using dumb phones to access twitter through dabr or something even lower than that.

But the real addiction is when you start posting tweets through SMS. When you don't care about your phone bill or remaining balance, but you just *have* to get those thoughts out. How bad can it be?

Why not get a diary and write it all down? Because, there is no audience for a diary. There is an audience for tweets. Of course, twitter is a game of audience. I have a spare twitter account that is followed by 29 bots. I sometimes tweet from that account. Now, I am the same, my thoughts are the same, but it's not as much fun as tweeting from an account that is followed by some 5k people. Eyeballs, attention, hate, love, emotions, it's all a game of emotions. Everything is about emotions. Once you understand that, you can explain anything.

If you scanned through my twitter page, you'd find out that I moan and complain about certain things on repeat and it's all related to my laziness. No job, which is evident as I've put jobless with my handle. I write that in my bio, too.

I often moan about how I have not one, but *two* 3GS phones. It's slightly interesting how these two came in my possession, I've been meaning to do a post about them from quite some time. Maybe next post will be it. Another common gripe that I have is apps not compatible with iOS6. It's all related. All realted to my laziness. But the good thing is that sooner or later, I'll be forced to get out of the lazy mode and get cracking and working on things that need working and I like to believe that right now I am heading towards that work-zone, even if its baby steps and not a sprint. I'll get there.

Now, before I started writing this post, I wrote down a list of ten things that I need to do. So, I have something to keep me busy in the coming days. Yup, that's really about it. Just a general update and thoughts about things.

It's Women's Day today, why it is so, I don't know. If anyone knows, enlighten me on twitter @69fubar

Image from the oatmeal dot com

funnier than my blog, yeah

Cubicle Monkey in a Rat Race

At times , realizations hit you all of a sudden. 

It's not a gradual process like getting fat, guess that's why they are called sudden realizations. There is nothing like a gradual realization because those are not fun either. 

You can see those coming from miles away. 

I had a sudden realization this morning. Which was this: as I don't have a job anymore, I'm not a part of the rat race. 

I go out of house and I see people of my age, losing their hair, their health, their mental peace over what? Money? A fake sense of stability? Some kind of bragging rights over their friends? 

If it's about making money, then doing a job is a lazy fucking way to go about it. There is no stability in any kind of job either. Your boss can fire you at any moment. 

It took me seven years to realize this. 

Why? Because I was fucking stupid and in many ways I still am. 

When you're doing a job, you're not making money. You're getting paid a set amount for your skills. Your boss is the one making increasing amount of money from your hard work, time and efforts. Your boss is making money by leveraging your mental well being, your youth, and everything good you have. 

For real. 

And you're supposed to be thankful for that? Are heart problems in your early thirties worth any amount of money? Is losing your fucking hair worth a promotion? Is dying early worth any xyz types of words before your name? If you say yes, then let me pay you whatever money you want and let me just kill you right now. Right? Because that's what you're doing to yourself, but in a gradual manner and when your sudden realization hits you, it just might be too late. 

I hope these words raise questions in your mind. Because for all I know, I might end up doing a job whenever my money runs out and whenever I come back to read this post, I should and must feel like putting in my papers. 

Consider this my timebomb to myself. 

I fucking hate cubicles

just another story