May 27, 2012

100 Things I Hate About Twitter

In no certain order, here we go.

1) Unclear tweets
2) Incomprehensible jargon
3) hahahha tweets
4) Pests who tweet @ you ALL the time
5) Trolls
6) Ugly people
7) People with two, three people in display pic
8) People who tweet only motivational shit
9) Flag bearers for causes
10) Beat the same drum ALL the fucking time
11) People who swear too fucking much, un-fucking-necessarily 
12) People who ALWAYS tweet in regional language
13) They twitpic everything they eat
14) Foursquare checkins
15) Always chatting with people
16) Multiple exclamation marks!!!!!
17) They ask for a follow-back
18) They announce now following to all
19) They talk to celebs all day like they give a fuck about them
20) They're mentally disturbed and somehow have a cellphone with a net connection
21) Political tweets
22) Sad all the time
23) DP Changing Syndrome (DPCS)
24) Only talk to girls
25)  Flirts with all the other guys
26) Guys faking a girl's profile
27) Append a fuck lotta tweets with TWHS TWSS
28) #tags
29) Music Marathon Madness
30) Misery machines who want sympathy
31) People who crash conversations
32) Fights with people ALL the time
33) Online 24/7
34) Brand whore (android/iPhone)
35) Tweets with just links without any accompanying text
36) You've an i appending your handle, probably stands for idiot?
37) You've a number in your name, like 69, (how mature!)
38) Fake drunk tweets
39) Excessive blog pimping
40) Skype gigs
41) Suicide threats
42) Extremely open about relationship on twitter (No one's interested)
43) Change Handle Every two weeks
44) Have an animated display pic
45) You take drugs and tweet about them
46) You fake accidents
47) Miserable poetry
48) Stand up comedians
49) Photographers
50) Over-excited Mothers
51) Non-native RT
52) Complaining for sympathy
53) Fat people who are not doing something about it, except eating more.
54) You lie constantly about stuff that no one cares about
55) Excited hamster syndrome
56) Movie Reviewers
57) People who try to show that they're superior by trolling others
58) Sexual tweets, some of us are trying to eat food
59) Cricket Cunts
60) Anagram Assholes
61) Your baby is not that cute, all babies look the same
62) Pet Whores
63) Blog Whore - because blogging is dead n all
64) Bollywood Bitches
65) Your handle is sexual, your tweets are equally boring
66) You copy tweets from funny foreigners
67) You copy tweets from unfunny Indians
68) Overtly patriotic
69) Disrespectful towards women with wife beating/kitchen jokes
70) TV show slut
71) You RT blood requests without checking
72) You RT your own praise
73) You praise others just to get an RT and a follow
74) You ask celebs for RTs
75) You claim that normal, boring people are celebs
76) You have the name of a beverage in your handle, coffee, vodka, tequila etc
77) You tweet shit at customer care accounts, just cuz they can't be rude to you
78) You're always traffucked
79) You've a good life, but you whine like a bitch
80) Disrespectful towards elders on twitter
81) You give movie reviews, 9/10 or whatever
82) You are an NRI and a bitch
83) You think every sly tweet is about you
84) Everyone sly tweets about you
85) You sly tweet about everyone
86) You tweet about facebook
87) You are on twitter with hopes of getting laid
88) You've an online girlfriend/boyfriend whom you've never met
89) You tweet about time
90) 11.11
91) Your jokes are shit
92) You ask people for simple decisions in your life
93) You write open letters
94) You hold celebs/politicians directly responsible for your misery
95) You arrange tweetups
96) Idol worship
97) You
98) Supreme Idiocy
99) Fucked up reasoning for causes
100) Weather tweets
101) You correct grammar of others
102) Football freaks
103) People who add URGENT to every other tweet
104) People who tweet only after a certain time and make a big deal out of it
105) People who ask for twitpics of every second thing


Okay, done for today. All these points were written in a humorous tone, but if you have a problem with any of these, feel free to bug me on twitter @69fubar

Got any favs? Hate any particular number? Leave a comment! Nice way to let other readers know your view!

Cheers!

19 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. only around 18 apply to me. but they apply to like 99% of my tweets :D

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  3. Here is one from me: Pointless debates/arguments. Hate when those happen.

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  4. Too many followers. Life was better with lesser number of followers. Then people start following and take everything you say so seriously.

    People talking like "Only 3 followers left for 8000" like it's an achievement.

    "Hey Sachin. Please score a hundred." like he is reading tweets.

    People giving each other hugs and <3 and kisses.

    Tweets about NBA and Basketball and other foreign-shoren games. Like we understand.

    People talking about neighbours, babies, unknown music.

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  5. 20 is hilarious!
    I suffer from 23.
    43 and 105 are significantly more annoying
    and 83 seems too harsh (unless you're hinting at a particular person)

    Fun stuff!

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  6. That's precisely everyone on twitter. Fun read. I saw myself in so many of them also I was nodding to each point because either I saw myself in it or I saw someone I know. I would have loved another 100 points :)

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  7. 99th was awesome.. :P .. Check DM and #FF are missing..

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  8. Haha! Funny, most of these are so true.
    Then again, there are also people who don't interact at all, only rarely like 1%, like myself! :P

    But think about it, if not for all these irritating traits that people display, Twitter wouldn't be funny.

    :)

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  9. Hahahaha. I couldn't stop laughing while reading this.
    I could totally associate my TL with this post.

    Or these tweets -> :(

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  10. Add some more
    > Hate petrol price hike, make ur fucking own petrol
    > handle.blogservice.com, so u saw everyone has a blog and u made one to be cool
    > You promoting a contest/event with hashtag spamming, you deserve to be blocked
    > CAPS LOCK IS THE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOLS

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  11. Hilarious post!!
    Also there are these basic ones with " How are you? What do you do? and What are your weekend plans?"

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  12. Don't forget the retarded group good morning, good afternoon etc tweets.
    Sucks even more when the each person tagged in the tweet responds :s

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  13. Thanks for the comments all :) I should've taken the list to 200 or something :D

    Cheers!

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  14. I've never actually been on twitter,but it sounds like it could be annoying!
    Haaha

    Rock on!

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  15. Hahahaha! Loved the list!

    Some more to add:
    1. Group good mornings and good nights.
    2. People who spell lose as loose! Ugh! And you're as your! Ugh ugh!
    3. Andheri East abusers.
    4. People who call you "dear". Yuck.
    5. People who steal bios.(yes, that happens)

    ReplyDelete