Dec 9, 2008

The Case Of The Bribe- Part 1 of 3

I was almost expecting the 'creeeeeeeek' that followed when I opened the graveyard gate. It was bad sound management though, cuz the rusting iron gate sounded like a termite ravaged wooden door.

Cold tendrils of mist fogged around my feet as I walked on the cemented path between the graves. A full moon shone on the graves and gave the mist an eerie blue color. A cat observed me from its perch atop the cross sign of a grave. It bent its head to the side and looked at me questioningly. The question in its eyes clearly said, "Where the fuck do you think you are going?"

Thankfully, I had the answer in my pocket. I took out the ziplocked plastic bag and opened it, the stench of a freshly dead mouse was no less worse than the stench of a long dead mouse. I kept the mouse corpse on the grave and the cat jumped down from its perch and calmly sauntered down towards me. Clearly ignoring the dead animal, it wrapped itself around my legs, and I obliged by picking it up. The cat rubbed its head on my jacket and I scratched it behind the ears. It looked up at me and said, "Now give me a kiss, pretty boy."

"Oh come on Maggi! Do I have to do this every time?"

"You can do it after I have had my dinner." she smirked and gestured towards the dead mouse chilling on the stone grave.

I bent my head and kissed the cat on its small wet lips.

"Ah ha!," said the cat, "as tasty as always."

"Can I go now?"

"You can but you may not."

I sighed, Maggi could be an irritating bitch sometimes.

"Please." I said.

"Ok handsome, you may proceed." 

And Maggi jumped straight on the grave, bull's eye on the dead mouse and disappeared somewhere in the darkness.

I made a symbol in the air with my index finger and the portal to another dimension opened.

Fuck my luck, there was already a line of demons waiting before me.


There will be a next part, and I have no fucking idea what that one is going to be about.


  1. love the absurdness of it lips! :-P 'line of demons'... man that brings up cool images in my head :-P

  2. cat kiss :| I almost imagined it and it wasn't pretty! sure there's more fun to follow

  3. awww. i LOVE cats!!! :D kissed one while returning from college today. :)

    oh and the story sounds a bit like Daemon Haelstrom. Know what i mean? Fuck demons!


  4. Harshad...

    trust me bro, it only get more absurd ;)


  5. QB...

    It's not meant to be pretty, so you imagined it right ;) but, its cute :)

    Fun? oh fuck yeah fun :D


  6. Jadis...

    Cats are cool :D see i you can get your hands on Pratchett's "unadultrated cat" book.

    No idea about Daemon Haelstrom! will look that up :)

    no,don't fuck demons, not a nice image :P


  7. This is cool. no seriously. all the things that can happen to the protagonist (you, i dunno) !
    mmmm, waiting for the next part!

  8. As good as you can get with vagueness.
    Nicely dealt with the elements of creep and absurdity (yeah).

  9. i so love reading this mind-fucking-craziness....

    second best thing after 'calvin & hobbes' tat makes me laugh out loud everytime...

    btw kissing cats?? what will be next??? sex with an octopus??

  10. Oh I like this cat! Very erm, cat-like! Hehe.

    Which reminds me of this adorable striped kitty I saw (and took pictures of today).

  11. Sia...

    Not much happens to him, he is a cool dude who makes things happen to others, of well, but we'll know most of it in the third part of the story ;)


  12. Monk-E...

    It only gets better dude, and there is a lot of sense out there, so I gotta do my share of non-sense ;)


  13. Antriksh...

    It would have been sex with an octopus if only I watched as much Hentai as you do.

    He he he ;)


  14. LD...

    You me and Jadis should start a cat lovers association :D

    show us the piccies!! :D


    P.S and i recomment Pratchett's Unadultrated Cat for you too ;)