Apr 25, 2008

Of all things fucked up

There are times when a man loses control of the 'life' that goes on around him. The world spins a tad bit faster and everything is just a shady blur. People, places, work, faces, all the blogs that I read, spin, spin, spin, and spin a bit faster. I'm not even drunk yet, no disease, no nothing. I don't feel like complaining but maybe I am doing that only. Complaining is supposed to feel good and I do not feel good right now. Man, who thought things would come down to this.

I checked my story count few days back, and it showed 195 stories, adding the 5 stories I have written in the clarity of night contests, takes the total to, well do the math geniuses, 200 (yes! you got that right, get in line for the medal). It's been some two years of blogging, or maybe more, I do not know, and I do not care. Right now, there is a kind of tiredness that has crept in me. The new job, the time spent working in office, the pressures of stupid varieties, the girlfriend, the parents, and almost everyone who is anyone wants one  or the other thing.

Is this what becomes of a man? I mean what are you in the end? What am I in the end? Am I the time I can give to someone? Am I the piece of my life that someone wants? Am I my money? Am I my place to stay? Am I the constant source of entertainment, always at someone's beck and call? Am I the rubbish bin in which you can throw all your baggage and fucking recycle it? Am I a fucking listening post? Am I the downloads I have done? What the fuck am I? What the fuck have I become? What the fuck am I going to be?

Right now, I'm pissed off. At life, universe and everything. Someone's gonna pay for this. Someone's fucking going to pay for this.

I'm just blabbering. And I'll continue to do so, till the stories come back.

War and Hate.

P.S- Jon, Five things that are good, consider them pending. I'm looking for them, so far the score stands at -1


  1. Sadly, thats the fucken truth.... V end up spending too much of our life trying to comfort others. Even if we try to move out of the situation, they hunt us down and eat our brains out.... Can't help it - guess, spending life in a calm fashion answering or listening to other things is what they call as RESPONSIBILITY.....
    On the good side, v r at least responsible....

  2. As much as I love the stories, I also love true feelings. We've all felt this, or feel this, and are all in this big fish bowl together wondering what the fuck it all boils down to.

    When I have an answer, I'll surely let someone know... But this Life is a big learning experience, and we're here to learn. My deal is, go through life, never stop being "young at heart", and having fun no matter what, and be true to yourself... "NO REGRETS".

    Hope for you some peace and clarity soon... Always here if you need to "dump some rubbish into my bin", come over stand in the middle of my forrest and scream your lungs out. :)

  3. Just start sharpening knives. ‘Big shinny fuck-off ones’
    You’ll be surprised how everything else seems to fade a little.
    Rock on!