Jul 31, 2012

An Update on State of Things

It's been some time since this place has seen any activity from my side. So, I just thought I'd drop in with an update on what all is up with me in general and on a greater level with this blog.

This is going to be some kind of ramble. The TL;DR version: Stories will be here soon.

The long version:

I've been in an unfocused fudge state for quite some time now. There were some stressful situations in real life that I had to deal with and as I grow older, I realize that life is not all that I dreamed it to be. But it is okay, life comes one day at a time and this is how we have to deal with it. I've had a lot to deal with, from personal life to professional life and to some degree the spiritual life too. I don't know to what degree I am spiritual but there are some things that one has to believe in. Things that happen. Signs that will show when you're looking for them. Things that happens just because you want them to happen. That sort of magical mystical bullshit.

It's all cyclical.

When you see history repeat itself for the fifth or sixth time around, that's when you realize that there is some kind of cosmic joke at play. It's all weird. We fall into habits that are difficult to get out of and even when we know that those habits are harming us, we can't help but indulge ourselves in those habits.

This is about being unfocused.

Back when I was studying, there used to be electricity in the air. The atmosphere was charged because we were all so young and full of ideas and that daring exuberance of youth that makes you feel you're immortal. But once you get out of study life, you're just another cubical monkey. Because the money is okay, pay is on time and the job doesn't really bore the fuck out of you. But you're just treading water. Just staying afloat, not really moving. Nothing flows here. It's just a stagnant pool of water. But it's okay, because the money is okay. It's on time.

I don't think I'll be wrong in saying this, but everyone we meet or interact with will stop us from living our life the way we want to live. You want to take off your clothes and play Hotel California on a guitar in the middle of the busiest market in your city, so many people will stop you, no matter how ridiculous your wish is.

So, this and that.

About the future of the blog

I read some of the past few posts here, about the android phones and shit and I thought to myself, Pallav, dude, wtf is that shit. So yeah, i disgust and disappoint myself with alarming regularity, but i am shameless enough to not care. I've been writing on a personal basis. Another long story project, about a city in future where all kinds of weird shit happens and yeah, that's pretty much about it. I am also editing a collection of old short stories and after that another editing task looms on my head. With all this editing, it's difficult to scrap out writing time for new short stories.

But I've got plans for that too.

So, yeah, that's pretty much it. I'll ramble more on some other blog maybe.

Stories, soon.


  1. I said I wouldn't read and I wouldn't comment until you send me the big edited story...but I cannot anymore. :D Dude, I need your daily craziness. Fact hai. Like for real. And yes I am here with you. I know. I can feel it. ;) Come back. Soon. Chalte, chalte... :)

  2. You cannot have an existential crisis, it's so unbecoming of you!

    Keep writing, the whole point of blogging is to look back, cringe, rinse, repeat, we grow but it's okay& totally natural!

  3. Keep writing, regardless of how much it makes you cringe, it's always interesting to read what your past self thought & deemed as important enough to type out & post.